Dealing With Toxic Relationships

by Virginia Carraway Stark

fights-in-a-relationshipRelationships are ties that bind us to the people in our life. These ties aren’t always things that we choose for ourselves, many times they are imposed on us. Many cultures believe that these ties carry on into the afterlife and beyond and for this reason it isn’t enough to simply ignore or walk away these relationships. Like bad pennies, bad ties have a nasty way of turning up again and again.

Spiritually, these ties are referred to as ‘cording’. A cord is much like an umbilicus that connects a mother to a child and like an umbilicus cord energy goes through the spiritual cords as well. In healthy relationships this energy goes both ways and both parties benefit from the connection. We all have experienced those exhilarating conversations or an evening with friends where everyone is breathless with the shared energy that passes between the group. When everyone feels better after interacting cords are at their healthiest.

Unfortunately we have all also experienced those ‘friends’ who always leave us feeling drained and exhausted after even a short encounter with them. It’s exactly like being around a giant mosquito who is stuck into one of our arteries. Many such people will attempt to make their victims feel sorry for them and obligated to continue to keep connections with them. It’s important to remember that this is a survival tactic for them to keep getting a free meal off of your energy. Just like any parasite, you have to take positive steps to dislodge them. Imagine if someone didn’t treat their head lice because they ‘felt sorry’ for them. This is how you are behaving by allowing parasites to cling to you.

Taking steps is simple but it is an effort of your own will against theirs in order to free yourself. The first thing to do is to assert out loud that you do not have a connection with them. You don’t have to say this to them, although you are free to do so if you desire it. After that take a knife, ideally steel, and move it along your body. Don’t touch it to your skin! Just wave it over yourself, severing the bonds as you go. Don’t forget the palms of your hands and the souls of your feet as we are all particularly prone to forming connections in these places. Afterward, rinse the knife under your tap water to cleanse any negativity from it. Some people choose to use a special knife for this but many people use a kitchen knife and then return it to normal use afterward. Do whichever you are most comfortable with.

Most importantly when dealing with toxic people is to remember that you can choose to walk away from them. Even if they are family or co-workers, you can choose to refuse to engage your energy with theirs. It becomes much easier to do so after you are free from their cords.

One last note: sometimes cords re-attach themselves to you. Feel free to repeat the procedure as often as you feel the need to. It’s all part of spiritual health and safety.